A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
