i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
