It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
