Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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