I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
