Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
only you would photoshop your dick
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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