just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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