Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize