this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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