Having a random hookup so left but love u
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
