This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
