Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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