I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
