Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
