i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize