so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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