I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
