Sry I called you an 8
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
