I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got inside last night via doggy door
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
