If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We got so high we made milksteak
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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