Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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