that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What a dumb baby whore.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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