Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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