my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
