Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
