I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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