I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
