R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
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you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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