so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
