but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
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We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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