Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
