The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
