I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
