Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
