I want to walk on stilts...naked
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
