I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
