I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
