I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
