You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
