you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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