I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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