How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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