what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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