Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it's like iHOP with fire
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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