there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
