found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
