are you still at the devil's house?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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