i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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