everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
