hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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