you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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