theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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