This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
