Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
