No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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