I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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