There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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