I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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