yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
