yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
