New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
