So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
