remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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