I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Farmville is her only friend.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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